Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I need moral support for this bender
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize