Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
