i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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