nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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