Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
