I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Damn victory sex feels great
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
