As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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