I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize