Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
