This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize