I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
