there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
