just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
