I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
