How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
