Kiss
Puke
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
