i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
