if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
