I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
