Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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