Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
