I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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