I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
