Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
