We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
