took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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