I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
