PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize