I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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