Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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