Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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