ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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