party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
