You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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