he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
