ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
