One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
