Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
