I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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