I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
