What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
