grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So many bounce houses so little time
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
