Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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