Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
