No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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