That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
