I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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