I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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