No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
