I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize