he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
