Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
they need to just BURY HIM!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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