I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
