If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
