I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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