Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What a dumb baby whore.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
