the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize