I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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