how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
