Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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