Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
