Whoa Z and x make the same sound
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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