I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
