why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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