I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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