I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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