omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Even my vagina gasped.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
