is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
