how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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