..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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