OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
