Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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