I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
