I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
