Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize