We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This toilet bowl is my home.
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