Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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