I hate all girls vehemently.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
